You Don't Need to Become.

Before you can make the big decisions, you have to practice with the little ones.

I guide you through daily experiments to learn what you want and need, starting with the little mundane things.

Because the little things are where big things happen.

Protection, understanding, unruly confidence.

-Nettles

Big Decisions Don't Start With Big Decisions

They start with little everyday moments that you practice listening to yourself.

Before

-You say no, then immediately start explaining why.

-You survey everyone in your circle before making a decision.

-You know what everyone else wants for dinner, but have no idea what you would want.

-You change your mind because someone else didn't like your first answer.

-You want something, but immediately start reasoning why you shouldn't.

-You make the “right” choice and then spend the next three days wondering if it actually was.

-You don't know whether you want to stay, go, quit, start, rest, push through, or change course. So you ask someone else.

After

-You say no without needing to make your case.

-You make a decision knowing you might have to adjust it later.

-You notice what you want before automatically considering everyone else's wants.

-You can hear someone disagree with you without assuming you've made the wrong choice.

-You can want something without immediately deciding whether you're allowed to have it or have earned it.

-You make the best decision you can with what you know, and trust yourself to handle what comes next.

-You don't need to know exactly how something will turn out before you're willing to find out.

You Don't Need Another Solution

You've been given plenty of answers. Told what you should do. How you should think. What your boundaries should look like. What your morning routine should be. What the “right” choice is.

It's not that you're incapable of following the advice. But it wasn't built for your life and who you are.

No One-Size-Fits-All

Your life isn't a case study. Your kids, job, marriage, energy, responsibilities, personality and circumstances are yours. So the answer has to be yours, too.

Try It. See What Happens.

We don't need to know whether something will work before you try it. That's the point of an experiment. Try something that you want to, and let it be small. Pay attention. Keep what works. Change what doesn't.

Your Life Is Your Lab.

You don't have to create the perfect conditions before you start. We work with the life you actually have. The messy kids, inconvenient schedules, conflicting priorities and all.

It's what makes your life uniquely yours, and the solutions should be too.

I'm Not an Expert On You.

I'm Bethany. I'm an RN, nurse coach, a mom, a wife, and a woman who has spent plenty of time being very good at doing what needed to be done.

I've also spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I wanted underneath all of that.

I didn't need another person to tell me who I should become, but I sure tried a lot of options first. What I actually needed was to get better at noticing myself in the middle of an ordinary life, and figuring out what actually worked for me, in my life.

That's what I'm interested in now.

I Live Here Too

Messy kids. Work. Marriage. Responsibilities. Plans that change. Days where the experiment goes so wrong I have to laugh at the absurdity.

I Don't Have The Answer For You

And honestly, I don't think you need me to. I can give you a question, an experiment, a place to look, and help you make sense of what you find.

But the rest is up to you and what you want.

I'm Still in The Lab

That's not a disclaimer. It's the point. I don't believe you graduate from figuring yourself out. You get better at it.

Why Experiments?

What if you stopped trying to figure it out?

Not in a way where you give up or stop caring, unless that is part of the experiment.

But to stop trying to figure out the answer before you have any information.

You don't know if takeout will actually make your evening easier until you try it.

You don't know if saying no will ruin the relationship until you say no.

You don't know if asking for what you want will make someone angry until you ask.

You don't know if leaving the job will make your life better until you leave.

So we start smaller.

Notice. Try something. See what happens. Learn.

Something Bigger is Coming...

Want real-time support while you discover how wonderful you are exactly as you are?

Want to be in a room full of other women who feel the exact same way — but have been too afraid to say it out loud?

I'm building an 8-week program that is all action and almost no modules. Each week you get one tool. You spend two weeks actually using it — imperfectly, inconsistently, whenever you remember. We meet as a group every week to talk about what's working and what isn't. No judgment. No performance.

Just real women, real support, who want to feel connected to themselves through trust and compassion.

And for the moments in between, a private community that you can connect with eachother at any time.

The tools are meant to be used when you remember them — in the middle of the hardest moments, before, or after.

There's no wrong way. Even if you show up for the tools and end up staying for the community — that's exactly right.

This is where you find your place, when you thought you didn't have one.

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Come find me, if you want to see more. I share moments from my real life. The moments I notice and the ones that spiral out of control.

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